I would like to share some of the reasons I ending up finally choosing social work and what I was thinking when I applied to the MSW program in late 2014. I put myself out there in a way that felt bold but true..
My first brush with uncertainty rooted in illness (that I can remember) occurred when I was ten years old and facing my first open heart surgery. It wasn’t until my sociology of health and illness courses in undergrad, around age 21, that I learned there were people, words and theories that talked about what I experience/d yet could not name.
Everything I have learned so far about how a hospital or our healthcare system works could not equip me for the moment when the doctor said, “You need emergency surgery. We can do it today. You don’t have any other medical conditions, right?”.
I took these videos because I never want to forget or disvalue what my life was life before. I’ve tried to hold back all expectations, mostly because I can't imagine what it would be like to live as someone who is more sighted (if the surgery goes well) than I am now, but also because I now realize how the weight of striving to be "normal" has cost me.
More than anything – I yearned to embark on this journey on my own terms. I was ecstatic at the prospect of mapping out my own course, even if that included joining a 12 day coach tour, because.. baby steps. I was tired of waiting. Waiting for the right time. Waiting for other people to go with me. Waiting until I felt more confident to set off on my own. I was ready to take a chance and hopefully prove to others and more importantly, to myself, that I could do this.